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As I take a few steps out onto the new planet, I'm in total shock of my surroundings. The Doctor lands the TARDIS and rushes over to the doors, before making a large gesture, motioning me to open the door. He looks extremely proud of himself as he tells me dramatically, "Further than we've ever gone before." And with those words a grin spreads across my face in extreme excitement. "So, where are we going today?" I ask as I lean on the console, still grinning at the sight of him. I still have to get used to the new happy Doctor that I hadn't known before. He sends me a large smile that I can't help but chuckle at. I let my long blonde hair dry naturally, making my curls look a little frizzy, but it works with the outfit.Īs I make my way back into the console room, the Doctor is looking at something on the scanner but looks up when he hears me enter. I finally decided on a loose grey, v-neck shirt tucked into black high-waisted jeans, and a loose, blue-grey flannel over top. After taking a quick shower and drying my hair, I did my light layer of makeup- eyeliner and mascara, and then dug through my closet for something to wear. One day, the Doctor joined me on the floor, and we just laid there, for hours, holding hands and watching the lights dance around us.īut we're planning on going somewhere today. I love to watch the stars and take in the magnificent's that surrounds us. I've taken up a new favorite spot while we drift- I open the TARDIS doors and lay on my back, hanging my head out the door and letting my hair float in space. For the few days we've been on our own, we've just been drifting in space, talking and getting to know each other better. I feel bad about how much I like this new Doctor. Whenever we have a good time, I mentally berate myself. Which is ridiculous, I know, but I can't help but feel guilty.Īnd I think he's beginning to notice it as well. I have moments of pure joy while he's around, and it makes me feel, almost like I'm cheating on the old Doctor. I still felt guilty about being the cause of his death, and not letting him heal properly, but I also found myself really enjoying this new Doctor.
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I did find myself in a vicious cycle of blame, though. Probably much to Rose's dismay, after that initial talk of him not blaming me, we didn't really discuss his regeneration, or my blaming myself again. I'm not sure what it is, or what it means, but it's always there. And I'll give it to Rose, things do feel different between us. It's been a few days since the Doctor and I have been on our own.
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